Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
