Christians are straight up FREAKS
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
