No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
