The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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