Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If that was your dad, he is hot
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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