He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
