fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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