Don't you send me to vm
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
