why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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