if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am naked and annoyed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
