he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
