whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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