I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
