I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
