My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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