I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
