Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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