Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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