I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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