did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
