Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
