babies were throwing up all over the place
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
