using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
