I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
