it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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