my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am naked and annoyed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
