I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize