The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
