i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
