Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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