I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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