So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
