Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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