there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
