I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
