I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
