Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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