Having a random hookup so left but love u
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
