You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
