No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
