We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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