Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
