I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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