Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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