yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
