I wish I only lived at night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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