i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
bring money and cleavage
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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