if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
