i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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