How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.