At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.