The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?