my mouth tastes like poor choices
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan