I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
