Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?