i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
