The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
