OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
