Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
