I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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