Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize