I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
