That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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