i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
