he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have peed in a lot of sinks
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
