Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
