R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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