i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
