this beer tastes like vomit already
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
