So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
