I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
